Yesterday

Apr 18, 2014 by

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I am preparing my bag for a long weekend when I come across the BIGGEST TUB OF ANTI-CELLULITE CREAM I HAVE EVER SEEN. Wow, did I buy that? I pull it out and look at it. I open it and notice that it has hardly been used. My brain probably needs a bit of anti-cellulite cream, I think ironically.  What am I going to do with this? Well, I guess I could use it up. It will take me about 10 years to finish it if I rub it on my entire body including my face and ears. Great…I think to myself, cellulite free ears. I might not walk properly but I sure as heck won’t have any cellulite on my ears. I sit on my bathroom stool looking into my drawer and I start to feel overwhelmed by sadness as I think about my life as it was before my aneurism. Uh oh, I know this feeling, quick somebody call in back up here it comes, the gigantic waves of self-pity that try to roll in just when I feel good. But I can’t help but feel sad. In my hand sits the madness of my trying to be perfect in every way possible. The amount of energy and pressure I put on myself in every single thing I did, all the time…

Until one day it all burst..

Yesterday is gone. Nothing will bring it back. I would be lying if I said that I never thought about yesterday. I do., not the good times I had, nor the family and friends that surrounded me. Fortunately, I still have both. Instead what I do think about is how much pressure I put on myself for things that I already had. Continually striving to do things better when I already had the love of friends and family, a roof over my head and a job I enjoyed. So why the pressure? Because what I didn’t know is how fortunate I was to have my health. I was sure that I was in perfect health. How incredibly naïve I was to not realize the one of kind perfectness we have when we have our health. These finely tuned machines that run while we are awake and while we are asleep, made to perfection.

(By the way, mine is still running…just needs a little tune up.)

But alas, I GOT IT.

And I am grateful for the knowledge that everything that I have gone through was not for a lost cause..

as it has made me a better person on the inside.

I have everything I need.

It has awakened my dulled senses, given me a chance to see everything from a different perspective. A positive one.  A wake up call that has left me so lucid, I often wonder if there weren’t some extra brain cells lying around up there.(my husband assures me this is not the case)

Things will only get better and I feel great.

Now then, cellulite cream anyone?

 

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2 Comments

  1. Manu

    You are a great and Wonderful person. When you write, it makes me think and realize so many things. Cass, wiith that kind of willpower (is that English?) you will get very far!!!
    I hope you had a great long we and that I am sure you won’t have to use too much anti cellulitis cream.
    Kiss
    Manu

    • italywithgrace

      Ahahaha!! I just only saw this now! Well I don’t want to waste it either… now might be the time to try it on my swollen toes!!;-) hope to see you soon, lots of hugs, Cass

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