Bike gone missing

Jun 6, 2013 by

I have been busy lately. Very busy. In the last 5 days I have been to an awesome lunch in Monferrato, (Piedmont area – 2 hours from Milan) stayed the night at a great bed and breakfast in the town of Garda, (Lake Garda also 2 hours away) and hosted a small dinner for 20 people on my terrace finding the best hidden fish market ever, to do so. Lot’s of good stuff to write about.

I take my kids to school and quickly rush into my building eager to start writing.

Regular doorman.

Regular doorman..

My portinaia is there in her  little office putting on her makeup. (portinaio/a means doorman) Portinaia has been our doorman for 3 months. Portinaia is about 28 years old, quite pretty, and spends basically the entire day playing video games on her cellular, painting her nails,

Our doorman..

Our doorman..

or talking on her phone.

Before going up to my apartment I remember to ask her where my daughter’s bike is, as yesterday we couldn’t seem to find it.

“Buongiorno” I say and this means good morning. “non riuscivo a trovare la bicicletta della mia figlia ieri, sa dovè puo essere?” I say. Which is basically have you by chance seen my  little girls bike?

“Si. Lo so dove, lo buttato via” and this means “Why yes, I do know where it is, I threw it away.”

“non ho capito.” I say and this means  I don’t understand. I do understand of course, but I have learned from Italians that when you are about to get REALLY mad about something you just heard you first say ‘non ho capito’ to give emphasis on whatever it is you just heard, it’s sort of the calm before a storm type of thing.

she continues “Beh, si..era li vicino il bidone da un mese, l’ho buttato”  which means “it was there near the trash cans so I threw it away”

This is true, I put our bikes near where the trash cans are. It is also true for about 8o% of the city, because in Milan the courtyards of apartment buildings usually have 2 things – bicycles and freaking trash cans.

I tell her that also mine was there and she didn’t throw it away. Then I say “mi scusi, ma perchè non mi hai chiesto se la bicicletta era da buttare?!” which means – why didn’t you ask me first? I say this in a very loud voice that S-man would call screaming because I am truly irritated not only do we have to spend a fortune for Portinaia to sit in a chair all day and paint her nails, now we have to pay extra when she does decide to do something.

To which she replies “comunque non era nuova la bicicletta” which means “anyway it’s not like it was new” and with this she turns around and goes back into her little office, shutting and locking the door behind her.

I am furious, I go upstairs and call S-man to tell him. He asks me where exactly did I put the little bike. I tell him “in the courtyard next to the trash cans”

then he says to me “non ho capito“…


  1. I hate when I do stupid things too. At least someone will get a new bike, I’m sure, Love Angie.

  2. I feel you’re very angry….!
    ….your daughter will be happy,though…..

    • Actually I can only be mad at myself!;) If your going to put your bikes in a courtyard where trash cans are present better to write ‘do not throw away please’ 😉

  3. I may adopt ‘non ho capito’ myself, whatever it means, and keep repeating it until I’ve calmed down in a ‘count to ten’ kind of way. Despite the content, a very amusing blog. I read it twice.

  4. Melissa

    Sorry about the bike. I’m curious to know how things are going between you and the portinaia now.

    • Hi M., glad your back! Well, we shall see how things are tomorrow morning (it’s 9,30pm here) but I have a feeling everything will be just fine..things happen,of course it’s really not a big deal, my daughter wasn’t the least bit upset when I told her. She simply said ‘well that was silly’ oh the things we can learn from our children!!;) buona serata! as they say in these parts.

  5. I share your frustration – a volte la vita in Italia può essere irritante!

  6. Aw… sorry to hear abt the bike and the bad attitude. s-man’s reaction cracked me up :p hehe

    • Thanks for reading. Yeah I can always count on s-man for a reaction 😛 anyway the story doesn’t end on while my cheeks are still red!

  7. Hi! I’ve been reading you for some time now and I have just nominated you for the Liebster award! Follow the instructions here:

    • Hi there! Wow thanks . Super thanks…the thing is I can’t seem to open the link!? Oh no, has my time expired!? ..or maybe my ipad has seen better days after like 2000 angry bird battles..let me try on my mac!

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