When home is calling

Oct 10, 2013 by

I am looking into the screen of my iphone, looking back at me through dark brown eyes and a thick black row of the longest eyelashes I have ever seen, sits my 5 year-old boy. We are negotiating over a plum cake.(sweet breakfast cake)
“Come on darling, eat your breakfast, you won’t have energy for school if you don’t eat.” I plead as I scoot myself up in my hospital bed so the light is on my face. It’s 7.25 a.m., my son looks at me and then starts to cry. I have been in the hospital for 46 days, every day my children ask me when I’m coming home. My son turns his body on his wooden Stokke chair so he is no longer facing the screen of the computer. He puts his face into his arm and cries a soft cry.
“Voglio te” he says in Italian, this means “I want you.”
I swallow back the tears that are trying to betray me, and smile into the screen and say “I know you do my darling, and soon mommy will be home but right now I need you to be a big boy and eat your breakfast.”
His little hand picks up the plum cake, and with one shoulder still facing the screen he starts to eat. The other hand wiping away his tears. I am not able to calm him, blowing kisses we say our good byes, and I turn off Skype. He finishes the last bite of his plum cake and then gets down to go and look for his sister. After 46 days she has matured far beyond her 7 years, protecting and loving her little brother with a fierce maternal instinct.
I lay my head back on the pillow as a single tear runs down my face. I need to go home..

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5 Comments

  1. manu

    It is soo hard for all of you but you are getting better, it’s the only way to hold on and you are strong.
    We see or read that you are getting forward every day a little bit, the only thing and the most important at this time.
    I am sending you courage and faith from Belgium 😉
    XXX

    • italywithgrace

      Thank you Manu,
      It’s good to know I can count on my Belgium girls! I know I will get through this and the love and support I receive is really quite incredible. A big hug and kiss to my beloved Belgium team!

  2. Jean Rogers

    This will make a bond between your daughter & son that will never break! I won’t go into my life’s story, but my children were not with me for 8 yrs once. My daughter Jaimi became her brother’s keeper/Mother. Something I can never come between, nor would ever try! 🙂 It’s a beautiful thing to see…through thick & thin she remains his Mother, yet never denying me as their Mother! I can see many good things that will come from this time Cassidy <3 For all of you! God bless you & yours always honey!

  3. Stephanie

    I’m a friend of Mireille’s. I grew up with her, and now live in England. I’m not sure if we’ve met when I visited her in the past, but I know who you are because you have been a close friend to her for so long. I found your website through Mireille, and I have been reading your posts. I also have 2 children, slightly older than yours, and I can only imagine how hard it is to be going through everything that you are. I can only say that I admire your strength, and I am amazed by your progress. I think of you often, and know that you will continue to have the strength and determination to get better as quickly as possible. I, too, hope you are home soon. Take care, love, Stephanie

  4. Federica

    Ciao Cassidy, scopro solo ora il tuo blog che non ho ancora smesso di leggere. Forza cara che ce la fai! Poco alla volta, senza fretta….you have been through so much, and yet you have so much strenght and love, that I have no doubts that you will come home to your boy very soon. Ti abbraccio tanto. Fede

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